We interpret other people’s actions as it relates to us, so that they are helping or harming us … giving us what we want or getting in the way of what we want. But their actions aren’t really about us — their actions are about them, because they are at the center of their own stories. When we interpret their self-centered actions through the lens of our self-centered view, the actions often make no sense, and frustrate, hurt or infuriate us.
What would the story be without us in it? For me, that story becomes something like:
– Things are happening — how interesting! What can be learned from them? What can be understood?
– Someone else is doing something or talking, and it’s probably about them. How can I understand them better?
– There is difficulty and unhappiness in what other people are saying and doing. How can I feel compassion for them and offer them love?